whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
