Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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