Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
