I look better un-naked...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
