i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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