no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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