make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
