It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
