Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
