Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
