I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
