Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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