I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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