i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dicks are not precious.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
