If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
