The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
