I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
