that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
