Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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