Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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