All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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