Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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