Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
