People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
