you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
