Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
