Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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