Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
