Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
