Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we're making bets on your personal life
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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