Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
