dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
