wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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