i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
