I don't think brook has ever known best
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
