the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
