New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
is it fun? or sober?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
