Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
