i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
