I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
