We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
