his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
