His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
