***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
