His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
