Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
