So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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