I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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