Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
