Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
