Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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