We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you had me at cake vodka
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
