Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
